.the very lovely Miss Ophelia Ratcatcher-Bucket, who is 19 years old and lives in Swansea although she was born and bred in Scunthorpe - in a test tube, hidden in a box in the Ratcatcher-Bucket family's attic."(lots of enthusiastic applause from the audience...real clapping, wolf whistling, cheering and laughing - not any of that Canned Nonsense that you get for your Telly Licence Payer's money on all those other downmarket TV shows)"Good evening folks, welcome to Who Said What. You both must be really itching to get started. But first, I'd like you tell the audience a bit about yourselves, so let's begin with your, Mr. Gumby. We usually call our contestants by their first names, so what does the 'D.P.' stand for ?" " I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that, Mr. Gumby" " That's ok, Mr. Gumby. I understand that you must be pretty nervous, being on national TV and we're the hottest quiz show on the telly at the moment, so we'll just call you 'D.P.' then...is that OK ?" " And over to. After starting the evening with her girlfriends and downing way too many free rounds of Fireball, she got the nerve to send the first text. She invited him to the bar, but he was working, typical of a damn truck driver. Her heart sank; she had her mind set on hot sex. She told him of her plans to have dirty, uninhibited sex that night. She told him how horny and drunk she was, and teased him over text. He replied, "if you don't stop, I'm going to have to do something complicated while driving." "No," she said, "I want you to do something complicated with me right now." He explained how he would not be back in town until the early morning but would hurry, the damn semi wouldn't go over sixty-two, he complained. She had to assure him several times she was sure and remind him that she made the first move, it was his move when he arrived at her house, he had a tendency of being shy as well. He arrived on his Harley around five a.m. and snuck quietly into her house and back to her.
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